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Monday, July 13, 2009

Austie Swan

Her fingers flowed with grace and unerring ease as she worked that chestnut of a grand. Tsatsa, of all people.
'Austie Swan,' she said.
I remember those intricate wordings etched onto that facade almost perfectly in gold.
'The best there is. Crunchy yet delicate. Come duet with me and see what I mean.'

Duets. It has been so long since a duet. Two pairs of hands synchronized in a way of cosmic understanding. I have yet to fathom that. But it sounded all the more magical and perhaps it is matters like this that do not require much understanding. Oh the gladness and smiles. Do we have to know everything to live this life? Do we need meaning? Do we need this clear conscience as guidance? What is guidance anyway and why do we bestow so much faith in guidance? Some might say God and religion but I do not want to digress...

Is it even right to voice this out in public? I don't know. I don't know much anymore to begin with. For all I know is that I'm just desperately grasping for something in the dark, still, after all these years. This morning came at me quite like a bucket of cold water splashed onto the face of a sleeper. Unprovoked. Innocent. Intrusive..offensive.

Forcing me to open my eyes and...wake up. Perhaps, actions need be taken to save one's self from all this injustice that is uncalled for. Being aware of the hardships and risks that follow only makes it all the more painful. But they say fortune favours the brave so let me get paid. I did not expect those hurtful words to be hurled at me from such a figure that is popularly tantamount to that of benevolence and unconditional love. My life thus far may be pockmarked with potholes but bear in mind, you were the biggest of them all. Need I say more?

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