Monday, December 27, 2010

To Joy, By Joy

I'm back again, I'm such a good grrrl. No intention whatsoever on this post though, I just feel like it. I'm sure everyone's familiar with this recurring "I feel like blogging!" thing. Sucks to be you if you've never experienced it.

I stumbled upon two very inspiring tumblr-ish thingamabobs as of late. Well, honestly I got them from tumblr. teehee. tumblr can be so awesome at times. At the others it's just really a waste of time. But then again, the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time - a quote so heavily requoted that I don't know anymore nor do I care if it's John Lennon or Bertrand Russell who said it. Does it matter even?

So here, since I've chosen to dedicate this time into writing a post simply because I truly enjoy this very act, I shall allow myself to fully BE in it. I didn't take pictures again. But it's okay, I'm letting this one slide. Perhaps for 2011, I might pick it back up. But that's not for certain, no, it isn't, nothing is, the only certainty in life that I know and am confident of, is death, and with that said, nothing at all is certain, not even you, nor your engagement, nor your status, nor your health, nor the stars, nor...okay I shall not go there, just in case.

As I was saying, the two awe-inspiring thingamabobs, in lieu of photos. Allow me to lightly persuade you to allow yourself to mull it around, over, upside down, inside out, and all about:

Life is really simple, don't complicate it with all your mind games and shizz. Frankly I don't give two hoots about "the game" and if you're playing it, why?

Well that's that then, they're pretty self-explanatory. Goodbye for now. I'm happy.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

A christmas and a new year

Hello there, I figured that I should prolly post something here before the year closes.

Let me first put it out here that I tremendously love this blog and I suspect that this love is bigger than my love for twitter. Forget facebook, I wouldn't advise myself to go on that site ever unless...well, unless I intend to make myself feel horribly self unworthy. facebook is bullshit.

So yeah, this blog has been my outlet in the realm of the written, and you know me, I'm forever infatuated with words. It's just too bad that lately, what's deterring me from posting is my fear of being unable to put forth a coherent and cohesive paragraph, let alone a string of sentences of more than 140 characters, after aeons of not writing. My ability to write - or inability, more like - scares me, and has ultimately maimed me.

Nevertheless, here's an attempt at a post :) Onwards with the incoherence!

I haven't been taking pictures as promised. This year has got to be the year with the least photos and the very notion sets a sinking feeling going in me. Pictures are memories. Once, I read a quote somewhere along the lines of "we take pictures to permanently contain the past so that we can move on" and couldn't help but agree. Definitely one of my biggest regrets this year.

I have been more distant (from myself and from everyone and everything else) this year compared to the past few. Where was I? I don't know. Ever since I was introduced to the concept of detachment by Alfred, I was bent on imposing it upon my handling of things in my daily doings and I have to say, this - letting go when life gets tough, living in the present moment, never looking more than 3 days ahead, giving when asked, never seeking only acknowledging, going with the flow, etsy etsy etsy - is a thing of both good AND bad and has certainly reduced the weight of matters but at the same time, made me come off as a spacey, lofty-headed times I feel so hollow, so mechanical I want to smack myself in the head and yell out "WAKE UP AND GET IN CONTROL!" but no, I figured this is nothing but the least painful option to live a life. Detached, indifferent.

With that said, this year has also been my loneliest and freest as I made a solemn vow to steer clear of the unnecessary tug-wars of the heartstrings. Almost perfected the art, but I'm still in need of some repair-works now and then when there's a malfunction and I slip into a form of pathetic bereaved longing. Ack.

It's not like I'm a love hater, I believe in love, just not committed relationships. And what's so wrong about being reluctant to commit?

Summing up 2010 was surprisingly easy. One thing's for sure, I can very safely say that drama was reduced to a bare minimum because of my decision in detachment.

That being one thing, senseless ennui being another.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A piece of mind and peace of mind

The world was turning but it wasn’t turning right.
Like it was spinning on remote control but remotely controllable.

Though I was standing there was no understanding.
And even when I pray, the mind was astray so I asked God,
What’s the name of this game that he plays.

With my left hand clasped to my right,
I screamed silently in my heart with all my might.
Gave the universe a piece of mind and asked for peace of mind.
For I thought I’ve become half the man I used to be
but the fact was, I’ve never been the man I was meant to be.

With realization, reality realized itself.
And my pupils, became pupils.

It took the blind man to teach me love at first sight.
It took the invisible woman to learn to see myself.
It took broken hearts to learn to love whole-heartedly.
It took having nothing to realise I needed nothing.
It took losing my legs to learn how to stand.

Though the company of one became an audience of none,
Being alone wasn’t lonely and love was once again lovely.

As wise men say,
There won’t be a better tomorrow if you can’t move on from today.
So where sadness was the words I sang yesterday,
love is the poetry I choose to write today.

Tomorrow, yesterday & everyday,
I practice my gratitude and work on my attitude.
where presence is a present,
and knowing for certain that the only certainty is uncertainty
and if the universe wills it,
the sun, the wind and even accidents will conspire to make it.

And now we’ve left,
the time where the world was turning but it wasn’t turning right.
In the end, everything is alright.

:: Source ::