Hello there, I figured that I should prolly post something here before the year closes.
Let me first put it out here that I tremendously love this blog and I suspect that this love is bigger than my love for twitter. Forget facebook, I wouldn't advise myself to go on that site ever unless...well, unless I intend to make myself feel horribly self unworthy. facebook is bullshit.
So yeah, this blog has been my outlet in the realm of the written, and you know me, I'm forever infatuated with words. It's just too bad that lately, what's deterring me from posting is my fear of being unable to put forth a coherent and cohesive paragraph, let alone a string of sentences of more than 140 characters, after aeons of not writing. My ability to write - or inability, more like - scares me, and has ultimately maimed me.
Nevertheless, here's an attempt at a post :) Onwards with the incoherence!
I haven't been taking pictures as promised. This year has got to be the year with the least photos and the very notion sets a sinking feeling going in me. Pictures are memories. Once, I read a quote somewhere along the lines of "we take pictures to permanently contain the past so that we can move on" and couldn't help but agree. Definitely one of my biggest regrets this year.
I have been more distant (from myself and from everyone and everything else) this year compared to the past few. Where was I? I don't know. Ever since I was introduced to the concept of detachment by Alfred, I was bent on imposing it upon my handling of things in my daily doings and I have to say, this - letting go when life gets tough, living in the present moment, never looking more than 3 days ahead, giving when asked, never seeking only acknowledging, going with the flow, etsy etsy etsy - is a thing of both good AND bad and has certainly reduced the weight of matters but at the same time, made me come off as a spacey, lofty-headed person...at times I feel so hollow, so mechanical I want to smack myself in the head and yell out "WAKE UP AND GET IN CONTROL!" but no, I figured this is nothing but the least painful option to live a life. Detached, indifferent.
With that said, this year has also been my loneliest and freest as I made a solemn vow to steer clear of the unnecessary tug-wars of the heartstrings. Almost perfected the art, but I'm still in need of some repair-works now and then when there's a malfunction and I slip into a form of pathetic bereaved longing. Ack.
It's not like I'm a love hater, I believe in love, just not committed relationships. And what's so wrong about being reluctant to commit?
Summing up 2010 was surprisingly easy. One thing's for sure, I can very safely say that drama was reduced to a bare minimum because of my decision in detachment.
That being one thing, senseless ennui being another.
Let me first put it out here that I tremendously love this blog and I suspect that this love is bigger than my love for twitter. Forget facebook, I wouldn't advise myself to go on that site ever unless...well, unless I intend to make myself feel horribly self unworthy. facebook is bullshit.
So yeah, this blog has been my outlet in the realm of the written, and you know me, I'm forever infatuated with words. It's just too bad that lately, what's deterring me from posting is my fear of being unable to put forth a coherent and cohesive paragraph, let alone a string of sentences of more than 140 characters, after aeons of not writing. My ability to write - or inability, more like - scares me, and has ultimately maimed me.
Nevertheless, here's an attempt at a post :) Onwards with the incoherence!
I haven't been taking pictures as promised. This year has got to be the year with the least photos and the very notion sets a sinking feeling going in me. Pictures are memories. Once, I read a quote somewhere along the lines of "we take pictures to permanently contain the past so that we can move on" and couldn't help but agree. Definitely one of my biggest regrets this year.
I have been more distant (from myself and from everyone and everything else) this year compared to the past few. Where was I? I don't know. Ever since I was introduced to the concept of detachment by Alfred, I was bent on imposing it upon my handling of things in my daily doings and I have to say, this - letting go when life gets tough, living in the present moment, never looking more than 3 days ahead, giving when asked, never seeking only acknowledging, going with the flow, etsy etsy etsy - is a thing of both good AND bad and has certainly reduced the weight of matters but at the same time, made me come off as a spacey, lofty-headed person...at times I feel so hollow, so mechanical I want to smack myself in the head and yell out "WAKE UP AND GET IN CONTROL!" but no, I figured this is nothing but the least painful option to live a life. Detached, indifferent.
With that said, this year has also been my loneliest and freest as I made a solemn vow to steer clear of the unnecessary tug-wars of the heartstrings. Almost perfected the art, but I'm still in need of some repair-works now and then when there's a malfunction and I slip into a form of pathetic bereaved longing. Ack.
It's not like I'm a love hater, I believe in love, just not committed relationships. And what's so wrong about being reluctant to commit?
Summing up 2010 was surprisingly easy. One thing's for sure, I can very safely say that drama was reduced to a bare minimum because of my decision in detachment.
That being one thing, senseless ennui being another.
